Friday, 10 October 2014

Ma'en Ni Mien Keh'nun Akhan by Shah Hussain ((Translation)



Ma'en ni keh'nun akhan, dard wachore da haal


O' mother, to whom should I narrate, the pain of estrangement?

Dhuan Dhu'ke mere murshid wala, jaan pholan taa'n laal


the smoke rises out of (the extinguished fire of) my passion for my beloved, (but if) I scrutinize the ashes, the coal is still red.

So'laan mar diwani keti, burhoon piya saade khayal


The strokes of anguish rendered me insane, my every thought is sunk in rift.

Dukhan di rooti, So'laan da saalan, Aa'hun da balan 

(My meal consists of) the bread of sorrow, the curry of angst, cooked on the heat of my sighs.

Jangul bee'le phire dhond'endi, aaje na payo laal


I wander around in the woodlands, probing, but have not found the gem yet.

Ranjhan Ranjhan phira'aan dhondedi, Ranjhan mere naal


(I call out) Ranjhan, Ranjhan(the beloved) searching for him,( but) he is with me (all along)

Kaahe Hussain faqeer numana, shoo mile taa'n thayon nihaal


Says the innocent Dervesh Shah Hussain, I'll be happy when I'll find the beloved.


Here is a link if you want to listen this kafi,

Monday, 6 October 2014

A Naive Retracing Of Patriotism



By all standards, Ganda Singh Border is a very peaceful and serene place. Located at the outskirts of Kasoor, city of the famous poet Baba Bulleh Shah, this international border line is between Pakistan and India. A solitary road amidst the lush green fields spread as far as eyes can go, with occasional trees in the middle, gives you a hiss of peace of which you become afraid of at first blush. You become afraid of losing it, for you have been missing it if you have lived long enough in a metropolitan city like Lahore.


You go ahead on that road and what you encounter is a huge amphitheater divided by a white line on the road. That line,with two flag posts on either side, is what marks the people sitting on my side as Pakistanis and the people sitting on the other side as Indians.

One.White.Line.


And I am thus far fine with it. Who can disagree that there were a whole host of problems back then when the line was drawn? We all know that when you eliminate tolerance in such a plural society as that of the sub-continent, the minority had to suffer in one way or another. That tolerance was eliminated by the colonialists in the two centuries that they spent there for their own gains, and the saga that resulted was a natural consequence. Yes, you can debate about whether this was the best way to protect the minorities or not, but that is not my assertion in this essay. Partition, either good or bad, was an event no one can reverse.


The question that really bothered me was, what we, the people and the authorities on both sides of the border are doing now?


Back to my narrative, and it’s time to add a lot of Pakistanis on my side and a lot of Indians on the other side. You might as well add some slogans. ‘Quaid e Azam Zindabad’ on my side, and ‘Bapu Ji ki Jay’ on the other side. And both of these slogans were going on in retaliation of each other, and how loud you cheered was a mark of how patriotic you were. I wondered if both Jinnah and Gandhi were to see this 'magnificent' display of patriotism today and what would have been their reaction? Both people, of imminent intellect and a respect for pacifism and plurality would have found this display rather less appealing.



And that might as well be the collective tragedy on both sides of the border. Neither of us had the courage and the wisdom to really implement the vision of our ideologues. We found hating each other most convenient and we did that. And we did it with such efficiency and intensity that even though millions of people on either side are still living below the poverty line, our arms are always up to date, always expanding. Both the nations lost the two individuals in the picture in the same year, and may be, the real vision behind India and Pakistan was also lost in that year.

But anyways, now was the time for the most awaited event, one for which people on both sides were particularly excited about. The parade.

Let me explain that parade to you in most simple terms. Six soldiers on either side, with bayonets in their hands and an intense expression of determination and contempt on their faces for the other side, march around the space between the amphitheater and hit their feet as hard as they can on the ground and then raise their bayonets. This single act receives huge applause from one side of the theater while the other side jeers on the soldier who has just performed the act. This goes on and on for quite some time, and it’s kind of funny how each side believes that they have the better set of soldiers. And by that they assume that they are better than the other side. And that the other side owes to be hated, for they identify themselves completely with the soldier on the stage for he is representing them, and when they see the expression of extreme contempt on the face of that soldier for his counter parts on the other side, they are led to believe that the only way to be patriotic is to have such contempt for the other side and to show that contempt in their slogans.

I sat there as an impartial observer and honestly, I was rendered speechless and sad at the same time.
Is this what loving your country means? That you hate the other side?
And if I don’t hate the other side, if those men marching on that stage don’t incite love for my country but rather the futility of what they have been trained and asked to do, then do I not love my country?
If the acts of those men don’t seem to represent me, then do I not respect my institutions or do I not care for the lives sacrificed by men in similar uniforms?

I pondered upon these questions the way back from Kasoor to Lahore. I scrutinized every answer that I already knew of these questions, of which the state-narrative syllabus and the people around me were too keen to tell. I had to go through all the India-Pakistan matches where I just wished that an Indian player playing well would get injured by a delivery from Shoib Akhter and return to the pavilion so that we can win or that Indian team should lose every match it is playing because, well they are Indians,right? I had to go through the state version of 1965 and 1971 wars, of Indians attacking the land of pure in the middle of night and we repelling them with a mighty force. I had to go through the pamphlets of the extreme right winged parties that found the doorstep of my home, that basically proclaimed that the root of all of our problems is India and that the rulers who tried to make peace with them were in fact betraying the blood of countless martyrs.

I am pretty sure that the other side had been taught similar narratives about Pakistan and Pakistanis. It was clearly evident by their slogans and chants.

My question is, can you base your national identity and your association with that identity on the basis of hating the other identity?  I agree that atrocities were committed but no such affair was one sided. No one nation was a holy angel of peace and piety and fairness.   Let’s say it was, now when is the time to move on? When is the time to get out of that hate and go on to love? Not loving the other side, but at least love yourself for who you are, not against who you are.

And let me be very clear about one thing at this point, I have utmost respect in my heart for my soldiers who sacrificed their lives for the protection of my homeland and who are still doing that. I don't question their faith or their courage or bravery. My point of contention is this, arms may be a way to defend yourself but it should never be the way to represent yourself. Those who are defending us are patriotic, but it is not the only patriotism that there is.

Patriotism for me is knowing your own motherland. It means you search for your culture and literature and music and embrace it. It means you explore your motherland and come to know of its beauty. It means you know what black spots are there on that beauty and what you can do to nullify them. Imperfection further enhances the beauty for it gives you a chance to make it more beautiful, to make your own contribution, to have your say and to enrich it further. It even gives you the reverence for your own motherland. 

It is in witnessing that beauty in its entirety, with its perfections and imperfections that you’ll get a real sense of reverence and respect and honor for your country. You’ll never get to know it by comparing the sound of footsteps of soldiers of the other nation, and thinking that, because your soldier had more strength, your country is better. For your country to be better, the other country does not have to be worse.


The sun was setting and as is the tradition, the flags were lowered and the ceremony was officially concluded. I saw the sun set over the green fields, behind a distant tree. It was such a peaceful and serene vision that I could not contain myself from dreaming far-fetched. 

 I wished that someday, instead of jeering at the parade and at each other, we, both Indians and Pakistanis, would gather everyday and discuss things right here in this serene place. We would discuss our culture, our art, our music, our poetry and our literature.We would discuss Bulleh Shah for instance,whose shrine is in this very city, and we would admire the spirit of that free soul that said;



Bullay Nu Samjhawan Aaian Bheynaan Tay Bharjaiyaan,
Man Lay Bulleya Sada Kena, Chad Day Palla Raaiyan
Aal Nabi Ullad Ali,
Nu Tu Kyun Lee-kaan Laiyaan.
Jeyra Saanoun Syed Saday Dozakh Milay Sazaiyaan.
Jo Koi Saanu Raie Aakhe, Bhisti Peenghaan Paian.

(Sisters and Sisters in law of Bulleh Shah came to talk sense in to him,
That please listen to us and leave the hand of Arien (Peer of Bulleh Shah)
Why are you staining the name of the heirs of the Holy Prophet (Syeds)
(Bulleh Shah) Those who'll call me a Syed would rot in hell,
Those who'll call me Arien (associate me with that name) would enjoy the swings of heaven) , 



We would discuss, how in the pursuit of his Yar( best friend), he didn't care about his higher caste. We would discuss how Bulleh Shah learned to dance to make his Yar happy, against all conventions and odds (Bulleh nuch ke yar manana ae). We would discuss that spirit that overcame all odds for his love, that danced to the music of love, and that now resided in this very city where that spirit has a following in every group that you can think of. Or, we would discuss the poetry of the great Punjabi poet Kabir, who roamed in the same villages of Punjab and who preached oneness and unity. Who proclaimed as Baba Bulleh Shah proclaimed; 

'Bulleh Shah, aasmaanian udthiyan pharonan ae,
We jheera ghr bhetha unhun pharya nahin'
(Bulleh Shah, you go for the one, flying in the sky,
You don't care for the sitting right beside you)

and Kabir would say the same thing, sometimes back as;

“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty.

You don't grasp the fact that what is most alive of all is inside your own house;
and you walk from one holy city to the next with a confused look!

Kabir will tell you the truth: go wherever you like, to Calcutta or Tibet;
if you can't find where your soul is hidden,
for you the world will never be real!” 


Or better still, we can always discuss Heer Ranjha. We can always discuss the spirit of heer who stood before the court in a patriarchal society and spoke for her love for Ranjha and defied all conventions for her Ishq. Imagine the sense of awe and admiration and reverence we'll have for ourselves when we'll discuss all of these tales that teach the lesson of oneness, of following your heart, of facing troubles in that following and working even though everything around you, conventions, friends, family proclaim your voice to be false but in your heart, you know it to be true, for it makes you go at any length, it makes you learn to dance to make your Yaar happy, it makes you stand in the courts, as fearless as one could be, and ultimately, it makes you eternal if you become its embodiment.

And one step further from that, we'll discuss our problems, our obstacles and hurdles in realizing who we really are, and that we will be able say that to each other with humility and respect that;

'Come, my friends.
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are -
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.'
(Alfred Lord Tennyson)


And then perhaps, we won't need to fight anymore, or to be hostile towards each other. For we'll be able to relate with each other on a deeper level, a level centuries deep. And with the recognition of that depth would come harmony and peace and serenity, the spirit that a place like Ganda Singh Border truly deserves. 




I know I was being naive. But then, it was a beautiful sunset.

Monday, 22 September 2014

Lessons learned from The GIK Debate Competition

Rumi says 'Travel brings power and love back to your life'. That power and love, in my view, is being able to observe your life patterns through a different lens, in face of something new. That something new may be unknown people who you have to trust to reach your destination or far off places where you have to live for what you want to have. During our travel, we may be able to have an idea of what we are missing, or what we are so fortunate to have. Thus we are able to mark new destinations and be grateful for what we already have. And being able to expand and appreciate your life, you proceed towards a higher, more conscious way of living. That conscious way of living is a result of learning lessons from every endevour of your life,especially travelling. 

I was fortunate enough to represent team GCU in a parliamentary debate competition at Ghulam Ishaq Khan Institute at Topi, KPK. It is an idyllic side of the world, surrounded by beautiful mountains and forests. The seven hours travel to and from Topi, Three days of debating and strolling through one of the most magnificent landscapes was a truly wonderful and enlightening experience. After I came back, I decided to pen down what I learned from my experience. Here are the new perspectives I was able to draw from my experience that I'll try to apply in my life.


1. Your capacity to suffer is your capacity to expand your life. Your willingness to let go of the known, to get out of your comfort zone and embrace the unknown is the mark of how far you will go in life.

2. The happiest people are those who have the courage to be  vulnerable in front of other people. Vulnerability exposes you to harm, judgment and betrayal but it also lets the light of joy, companionship, beauty and knowledge to shine in your life.

3. When you are hurt, all you can think of to relieve that hurt is by hurting other people, people you think are responsible for your hurt. It is one of the greatest misconceptions that we are led to believe that our hurt can go away by doing this. Projecting your hurt on the outside, on other people, strengthens it even further by making its monuments on the outside. On the other hand, rejecting that hurt on the inside makes it even worse for it engraves it inside your being. When you are hurt, instead of rejecting or projecting it, ask yourself this question; 'Can I become a person bigger than this hurt and through this hurt?' and stay with this question for some time. I don't guarantee that the hurt will go away but I do predict that you'll come to know a lot about yourself and your life will expand as a result. You can always confront that person responsible for that hurt later, but this time, it would be with out heavy emotions or judgments and you'll get a better understanding of the real situation.

4.For this insight, I'll quote Wasif Ali Wasif. I truly understood what he meant during a debate match.

'Jin logon ne battle of Waterloo larni huti hai, barri aur dur ki jangien larni huti hain na, wu yun chuti laraian gali muhale mien nahi larte. Wu kehte hain hum larien ge zror lekin dur ja kar'





5.Don't judge a person by his or her worse behavior. I have two reasons for that. Number one is an analogy, that when you go mining to search for gold, you may encounter a lot of dirt. But when you look for gold, you don't look at the dirt that came your way for the gold makes it up for it. So when interacting with people, look for the gold. Second, everyone has the capacity to become more than who they are today. May be this behavior is your call to help them on their way. Also, if you judge someone of their worse behavior, you are doing that to yourself too. Stop it, for your own sake.


6.Your bench mark, for who you truly are, is never the outside accomplishments. True dignity and goodness lies in the attitude of you being conscious of your actions, of your life. Be willing to explore what you do and why you do it.



7.The clues as to whether you can do something or not lies not on the outside but inside. Imagine yourself doing that particular thing and see the fears and doubts coming to surface. Know these fears and doubts intimately. This is the hardest thing you can do, but once you are through that, things will fall into picture.



8.One of the truly life enriching and nurturing experiences is a direct contact with nature. When you see all that life existing in nature, so wild in the outlook yet at peace, there is something that shifts inside you. I have not been able to figure out what it is, so can't tell you about that. All I can say is that wild peace becomes a part of you and stays with you.

9.You'll never know and appreciate how far you have come unless you occasionally visit the place where you started. I reflected upon that while I was travelling and the bus was passing through distant villages, meadows and mountains. Somehow it made me reflect on the place where I started and where I was now. I felt a wave of gratitude and a sense of responsibility.

10. When you reflect on your life, you'll see little things that somehow chipped in your life out of nowhere. Someone guided you, inspired you, helped you out of a tough situation, believed in you or gave you an opportunity and stuff like that. And though you never appreciated those things as much as they deserved to be, they turned your life around and made you who you are today. You can't help but notice a divine force chipping those things in your life, making things work when you lost all hope. You realize that there is something greater than life, greater than everything you have seen that exists and that force is independent of your opinion about it.

11. Respect how other people view the world but never let them impose that view on you.Also, when you find people who share your view, never let them go. Have the courage to be vulnerable in front of them. Have the courage to learn from them and let them shine new light on the view both of you hold so dear. 

12.Know that what you have to say is important. The fact that there is a lot of shout around it does not make it insignificant. 

13. The majority of the people are doing the best they can, with what they have, for who they are and want to become. You may not agree with the approach but respect the spirit. 




Pictures Courtesy

Humans Of GIKI
https://www.facebook.com/HumansOfGIKI
&
Danyal Butt

The Barren River

Like a barren river that waits for flood,
I wait for you.
And even though the river knows,
That the flood would break every bank,
Every trusted, known bank he made,
Since the last flood.
And that the great wave of water,
Would turn everything upside down,
And nothing will be the same,
And that wave will be gone soon,
And all the river will inherit,
Is the sand the flood brought along,
Still the river waits for the clouds to thunder,
For the rains to fall heavily,
For the waves to come quietly and powerfully,
Still,

I wait for you.

Sunday, 14 September 2014

The Ironic Miracle




'Like an ocean that sails along, in itself,with itself with echoes of storm largely unheard I saw a ship that no one saw and I probably didn't see it myself,

but I wanted that ship to exist so much that I forgot the fierce winds,the cloudy skies and though it was a miracle

that that ship actually came into being
but I'd say that 

it was an ironic miracle for the moment the winds touched the sails, they tore them apart, the wooden framework was met with an iceberg I didn't believe that the ship was real until the iceburg sank it and the winds soothed it apart.

Friday, 5 September 2014

Free;As A Drop Of Rain



Rain. It flows like a continuum of suppressed rage when there is no fear to scare it off. That rage is fearless and thus honest and resounding.And with all that is blunt and honest and resounding, there lies a subtle beauty in rain.

That beauty is freedom.

A freedom that is revealed and embraced by every drop of rain.

A freedom to give up the ultimate heights at the message of a cold wind and dive fearlessly to unknown depths.

A freedom to transcend down with humility in a world that is not free, that has limitations both in essence and existence.

A freedom to make music when striking cords with anything on its way.

A freedom to venture for an unknown, dark destination and still be enthusiastic about it.


A freedom to bid farewell to their homes, where they got borne and cherished and found peace.

A freedom to bid farewell to other drops of rain whom it saw being formed, who embraced that drop like a part of themselves and the drop knew it was a drop when he watched those other drop.

A most importantly the freedom to bid farewell to its own self, for the journey between the cloud and earth will be the last time it will know itself before driven in to oblivion and a wait to see the sunshine again. 

That single drop of rain is free and willing to do all of these things,the moment a cool wind touches it.

Are we as free as a drop of rain?




Thursday, 31 July 2014

In the hopeless grind of this life,

I found the misery preserved forever.

In the soothing waves of the sea,

I found the end at the shore.

I hear what of what life speaks,

and it's ugly, at least for now

and I don't know yet but one day,

the questions that haunted me,

would be haunted by answers.

and the rupture of the misery

would be the rapture of me.